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 I need some help girls

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anom
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PostSubject: I need some help girls   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:05 pm

I have been married for 7 years, been together for 12yrs. It has had its ups and downs as any relationship would have. We have kids to. Anyway we recently spent 3 mths apart and are now back together but its really hard work. He has changed jobs and gone from being the second boss to being the biatch and for half the money. I am looking for fulltime owrk to help out. The thing is, before we got married I had a "thing" with my mums partners son, we are very close but nothing has happened since we got married. But we still have reg contact about once a week sometimes once a month threw text. Last night hubby had a hissy at me asking if anything was going on? I had to plead my case with him as he was adimit something was going on bewteen us. He is checking my phone for messages from mt kinda step bro. Hubby has alwsya had HEAPS of cinfidence and now he is so insucure, what can I do or say to make things better?
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Babykatnz
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PostSubject: Re: I need some help girls   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:13 pm

You could always get your step brother to have words with your hubby to reassure him nothing has happened...

I am assuming the contact you have via text is only ever innocent...nothing in reference to what happened prior to getting married? The only thing you can do really is be more open with him...LET him see your texts to show him nothing untoward is going on...

Unfortunately when there is no trust in a relationship, makes it hard to stay together...it is what broke my marriage, but I caught mine in the act with emails and messages to other girls.

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4_leaf_clova
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PostSubject: Re: I need some help girls   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:39 pm

I doubt it even has any thing to do with you, or your step bro...think the main reason for his insecurity is because now he is no longer in the "boss" role at work and so maybe is not feeling his manhood any more?
You shouldnt have to proove yourself to him, if you have never been unfaithful, nor given him a reason to feel you have-then he should accept that or leave it, no need to let him invade ur privacy constantly by sharing the tx messages in your phone. I wouldnt condone that, if it was me....& he happened to check my phone when I wasnt aware-then thats his bad-but I would never say Okay huni, u think Im being a slapper, check my phone out daily and keep tabs on me like Im your possession....wat ever!
why did he swap jobs?
why did you guys split in the 1st place?
If ur back with him, you obviously wanna be with him regardless...so he just needs to suck it up-an insecure man is soooo not sexy...
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foxyminx
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PostSubject: Re: I need some help girls   Wed Feb 27, 2008 10:52 pm

It will take a while for the trust to build again. This is all normal hun. Let him see by your actions that he has nothing to worry about.

Good luck for the future!
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times4plusmore?
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PostSubject: Re: I need some help girls   Thu Feb 28, 2008 12:30 am

Hi....tricky situation...I dont think that once trust is gone it can ever be gotten back, but if you havent given him any reason to distrust you, then let him know that...offer to let him read your texts, maybe offer to talk to the other guy less?...Ask him what he expects of you in reagrds to this other person...
But in saying that is there something he wants to tell you?..I have found PERSONALLY that the ones pointing the finger like that are usually the guilty ones?....sorry jmho

I hope that the 2 of you can sort it out...good luck
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4_leaf_clova
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PostSubject: Re: I need some help girls   Thu Feb 28, 2008 1:03 am

But in saying that is there something he wants to tell you?..I have found PERSONALLY that the ones pointing the finger like that are usually the guilty ones?....sorry jmho ...

Oh yes I actually agree with that-1 of my exes in particular use to put the mad guilt trips on me when we had been apart for what ever reason...at the end of the relationship I found out it was because he had strayed & he wanted to make himself feel better about his own actions-which is why he invented images of me sleeping around...more fool him, wasnt until a year after we broke up that he actually realised that I was telling the truth & had not even kissed another guy from the day I met him...& he only seems to find one slappa after the next lol "serves him right"

Any way girl, I really hope things work out for you for the better, and you get to the bottom of all of this & see where the drama is truely coming from...
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